(mikey's offer should trip the alarm put in his head by his mother and father: "don't accept things from strangers." it doesn't. they're far away now, jonas is in purgatory, and he wants to fucking smoke.)
Uh, really? Thanks, man.
(one of mikey's cigarettes is slid from its pack, and jonas, having been stripped of his zippo on arrival, leans in automatically for a light.)
Have we met somewhere? You look, like, super familiar.
... Okay, (jonas acknowledges, not one to pry, but for a moment, he's unable to look away from him. there's something about his appearance that was worth remembering. the white hair, the lifeless eyesβof course, he thought that profile picture on soulidarity looked off.
his eyebrows raise, pulling the cigarette from his mouth.)
No, no, hold on. I've met you, likeβI met you on Soulidarity recently, man. You're that Mikey guy.
(this is awkward. being agitated by someone when they haven't the slightest idea what's going on isn't what jonas planned for his day, but this bears mentioning. it was intimidating. more than that, it was confusing.)
Okay, how about this: (he gestures between them with the cigarette.) I'm the guy you threatened for no reason. Like, out of nowhere after you came up in my post to diss me. Are you seriously gonna deny that?
I'm not denying anything - I just don't remember. It doesn't mean what you said isn't true?
(sounds like him, actually, and it also is on brand for him not to remember. it just makes him shrug. too much goes on and he doesn't notice - faces, names, important events, all flying over his head.
at least he doesn't feel threatening, relaxed and gesturing with the cigarette just as the other boy is. not murderous, just... tired.)
(this is a first. there are a few reasons why someone would lie in a situation like this, but to tell a bizarre truth is, frankly, new to jonas. old acquaintances pretended they didn't know him, even friends denied ever being invested in their relationship.
mikey asserts that everything that happened happenedβhe simply doesn't remember.)
... You've gotta beβthat'sβare you trying to confuse me, man? (jonas asks, reintroducing the cigarette to his lower lip with an intent to finally smoke it. he's silent for the duration of a lengthy inhale, and when he speaks, it's strained until his lungs deflate.) Jesus... whatever. Look, I don't wanna fight anyway, so if you wanna pretend nothing happened, that's all... great.
Because why not? Everything else is bullcrap anyway.
... If you want to pretend it never happened, that's fine. I believe you something did, but you deal with that shit however you wanna.
(#seeifhegiveafuck
but an oof escapes him as his back hits the grass behind him, an arm stretching and the other bringing the stick to his lips. it feels too faint of a hit of nicotine, he might smoke another right thereafter.)
Huh. So you're going through the stages, huh? Anger... And then it's some other bullshit I don't remember.
Gee, thanks. (jonas, unimpressed with the entire situation, just sighs heavily in the wake of whatever all of this is.
is he an amnesiac? it could happen here, he supposes, with everything else going on. while still skeptical, watching mikey lie down in the grass, jonas makes the executive decision to let it go. they have more important things to worry about.)
I'm not angry. Besides, denial's first anyway. It's denial, then anger, then bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
(his mandated therapy went well. his counsellor told him to remember it as an acronymβlike saying "DABDA! DABDA!" to himself would work.)
(considering that, well, mikey's a person who would benefit from therapy, but hasn't done any. for the amount of people he's lost, and how much repression he experienced through it. processing is not an option when he has to keep going like nothing's happening.)
(jonas snorts around his cigarette, finding the question funny. his eyes drift up to the sky, obviously choosing from a myriad of lies and not bothering to hide the fact.)
(there's something distinctly lacking in the responses mikey gives him. even inspired to ask a question, the man sounds distant or distracted. jonas looks back down to examine mikey through tendrils of smoke.)
It's Jonas. That's Jonas with an S, not Jonah with an H.
... Look, uhβMikey, right? Maybe this isn't my business and it's kind of out of nowhere, but, like, are you... are you alright?
(there's a bit of a laugh that leaves with smoke, his lips curving into the most sincere smile he can muster up. quite a different expression from absolutely nothing.
the worse it is, the more he smiles.)
I'm fine. Are you? It ain't normal to have that shit memorized. I lost a buncha people and never did.
(no opening for sympathy, though. it's said as if one was commenting on the price of gas, or the poor weather. a fact, rather than an invitation.)
(sorries sound pitiful without context; what else can he say to the smiling stranger? mikey doesn't look bothered, no longer apathetic but happy in a way that's obviously been forced. no one could convince jonas that it's real, because no one can talk about losing loved ones and grin through it, right?
maybe that's just his own experience. maybe he's projecting.)
They say things get easier day by day, but... I don't know. I know that's not inspiring or whatever, I just hope this time you get cut some slack.
Know what? I haven't tried that yet. Hold on, I think I can just will it away with the power of positive thinking.
(stubs out his cigarette before throwing his hands up to press fingers into both temples. eyes shut, a low humming begins, and he acts on mikey's suggestion.)
For that free piece of therapy? No way. For giving me a cigarette? ... Thanks, man, (jonas says, offering mikey a little smile.
he's thankful for this meeting; what if mikey hadn't stopped him? how long would their misunderstanding on soulidarity last? jonas isn't here to make enemies no matter how hard this place is trying to force him to.
his thumb is jerked in the direction of the corner shop adjacent to them.)
I better pop inside to grab some cigarettes and head out. Do you want anything?
Right when I found my true calling, you do me dirty like this.
(he's trying to not let his genuine smile show, even if it does sneak its way to the very corners of his mouth. it wasn't a great idea to get attached to anybody back home, it isn't a good idea here, either.
still, he lifts himself just a bit, supported by his forearms, before he hums.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Uh, really? Thanks, man.
(one of mikey's cigarettes is slid from its pack, and jonas, having been stripped of his zippo on arrival, leans in automatically for a light.)
Have we met somewhere? You look, like, super familiar.
no subject
I've never seen you in my entire life.
no subject
his eyebrows raise, pulling the cigarette from his mouth.)
No, no, hold on. I've met you, likeβI met you on Soulidarity recently, man. You're that Mikey guy.
no subject
I am, but I don't remember you. Who are you?
no subject
(this is awkward. being agitated by someone when they haven't the slightest idea what's going on isn't what jonas planned for his day, but this bears mentioning. it was intimidating. more than that, it was confusing.)
Okay, how about this: (he gestures between them with the cigarette.) I'm the guy you threatened for no reason. Like, out of nowhere after you came up in my post to diss me. Are you seriously gonna deny that?
no subject
(sounds like him, actually, and it also is on brand for him not to remember. it just makes him shrug. too much goes on and he doesn't notice - faces, names, important events, all flying over his head.
at least he doesn't feel threatening, relaxed and gesturing with the cigarette just as the other boy is. not murderous, just... tired.)
no subject
mikey asserts that everything that happened happenedβhe simply doesn't remember.)
... You've gotta beβthat'sβare you trying to confuse me, man? (jonas asks, reintroducing the cigarette to his lower lip with an intent to finally smoke it. he's silent for the duration of a lengthy inhale, and when he speaks, it's strained until his lungs deflate.) Jesus... whatever. Look, I don't wanna fight anyway, so if you wanna pretend nothing happened, that's all... great.
Because why not? Everything else is bullcrap anyway.
no subject
(#seeifhegiveafuck
but an oof escapes him as his back hits the grass behind him, an arm stretching and the other bringing the stick to his lips. it feels too faint of a hit of nicotine, he might smoke another right thereafter.)
Huh. So you're going through the stages, huh? Anger... And then it's some other bullshit I don't remember.
no subject
is he an amnesiac? it could happen here, he supposes, with everything else going on. while still skeptical, watching mikey lie down in the grass, jonas makes the executive decision to let it go. they have more important things to worry about.)
I'm not angry. Besides, denial's first anyway. It's denial, then anger, then bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
(his mandated therapy went well. his counsellor told him to remember it as an acronymβlike saying "DABDA! DABDA!" to himself would work.)
no subject
(considering that, well, mikey's a person who would benefit from therapy, but hasn't done any. for the amount of people he's lost, and how much repression he experienced through it. processing is not an option when he has to keep going like nothing's happening.)
no subject
(jonas snorts around his cigarette, finding the question funny. his eyes drift up to the sky, obviously choosing from a myriad of lies and not bothering to hide the fact.)
I read it online. Does it matter?
no subject
(well, yes. why would you read about that online if you or someone else wasn't going through it?)
... What's your name again?
(he doesn't mean it to be mean!!! it's honest!!)
no subject
It's Jonas. That's Jonas with an S, not Jonah with an H.
... Look, uhβMikey, right? Maybe this isn't my business and it's kind of out of nowhere, but, like, are you... are you alright?
no subject
the worse it is, the more he smiles.)
I'm fine. Are you? It ain't normal to have that shit memorized. I lost a buncha people and never did.
(no opening for sympathy, though. it's said as if one was commenting on the price of gas, or the poor weather. a fact, rather than an invitation.)
no subject
(sorries sound pitiful without context; what else can he say to the smiling stranger? mikey doesn't look bothered, no longer apathetic but happy in a way that's obviously been forced. no one could convince jonas that it's real, because no one can talk about losing loved ones and grin through it, right?
maybe that's just his own experience. maybe he's projecting.)
They say things get easier day by day, but... I don't know. I know that's not inspiring or whatever, I just hope this time you get cut some slack.
no subject
(or die, considering the situation. ironic, truly, and that is what gets a tiny laugh out of him. just the dichotomy in those words.)
They say and you don't know? What does that mean to you?
no subject
(supposed to. jonas breathes smoke and looks down through it at mikey.)
I don't think it actually does, but... some people like to hear it. Are you laughing at me?
no subject
(please, come on, it's funny.)
no subject
It's a little funny. (used to coping via humour, jonas is disappointed in himself; why didn't he catch onto how ridiculous it all was before mikey?
damn, he's losing his edge.)
Okay, okay, it's really funny. I'm laughing inwardly right now, like... my spirit's in it, but my body refuses to go along. Must be the trauma.
no subject
(the youth is losing their touch... 90s best generation...)
Oof, rough. Have you tried not being traumatized?
(HE'S JOKING.)
no subject
(stubs out his cigarette before throwing his hands up to press fingers into both temples. eyes shut, a low humming begins, and he acts on mikey's suggestion.)
...
Whewβit worked! I'm all better.
no subject
(at least both know this is bullshit. it's impossible to get over anything just from strong wishes alone. everything leaves a mark.)
no subject
he's thankful for this meeting; what if mikey hadn't stopped him? how long would their misunderstanding on soulidarity last? jonas isn't here to make enemies no matter how hard this place is trying to force him to.
his thumb is jerked in the direction of the corner shop adjacent to them.)
I better pop inside to grab some cigarettes and head out. Do you want anything?
no subject
(he's trying to not let his genuine smile show, even if it does sneak its way to the very corners of his mouth. it wasn't a great idea to get attached to anybody back home, it isn't a good idea here, either.
still, he lifts himself just a bit, supported by his forearms, before he hums.)
... Anything sweet.