[He wonders if it would have been easier had Jonas been angry with him and refused to engage any further. If there was a quick severing between them, as it was with Abel, a decision certain enough to deny hope — because at least he'd know how to deal with that. He's been dealing with himself for a long time.
But when Jonas offers that chance, and more than that demands the proof of Cain's intent, there's a fragile moment he's not sure it will be possible. Maybe he should just hang up. Maybe he should write everything off and go back to the existence he's so accustomed, alone, surviving. If he destroys it with his own hands, he has someone to blame.
... And then he thinks about all of their conversations, all the tender attempts at companionship by Jonas. The glimpses of understanding by Noctis.
The two of them are worth it.]
Ya mogu eto sdelat'. [A quiet confession in Russian, as if he needs to hear it that way first. He doesn't believe in himself, but if Jonas does, then maybe—] I can. I'll do it.
[There's a rough exhalation before the call cuts out.]
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But when Jonas offers that chance, and more than that demands the proof of Cain's intent, there's a fragile moment he's not sure it will be possible. Maybe he should just hang up. Maybe he should write everything off and go back to the existence he's so accustomed, alone, surviving. If he destroys it with his own hands, he has someone to blame.
... And then he thinks about all of their conversations, all the tender attempts at companionship by Jonas. The glimpses of understanding by Noctis.
The two of them are worth it.]
Ya mogu eto sdelat'. [A quiet confession in Russian, as if he needs to hear it that way first. He doesn't believe in himself, but if Jonas does, then maybe—] I can. I'll do it.
[There's a rough exhalation before the call cuts out.]