[ Noctis employs a good-natured snort and that single word to communicate to Jonas exactly what he thinks of him trying to in any way physically abuse the elderly, certain that the boy next to him must be one of the kindest people he's met and therefore utterly incapable of such cruelty. That's special, isn't it? Not the low bar he's set for his friend's kindness, but the wealth of it in general. Jonas has been tested by life in some of the worst ways but he's still here, carving out time to devote to Noctis's journey. ]
Ahh... [ Eyes drift down to the datapad as he pretends to focus in on song titles and not his friend's fingers, huffing out a held breath. ]
Yeah... no, I remember. How'd you know? That he's gay.
He just told everybody? [ Before he can bring himself to prompt Jonas to sing more, too interested in what a life like that looks like for someone on Earth to rush past it. ]
Yes and no? He was just... The guy lived. Like, he was shy and pretty introverted usually, but when on stage and performing, he was flamboyant, and just, like, this huge, loud presence. People kept guessing, and he just let them.
And, so, like, some people thought he was bisexual, into guys and girlsβlike me. ( Fair's fair in Jonas' world; he tells Noctis as proudly as he can, which includes bowing his head and placing a hand showily on his chest to indicate himself. ) Others thought he was gay. I don't know the full, like... full breakdown, but it was basically fifty-fifty. Like, some people said he was closetedβthat's just, like, he didn't "come out" or whatever, like it's slang for not coming outβand others said he was pretty open about it.
( Aware he's rambling, he pauses briefly to take another deep swig of spiced liquor, finding himself enjoying the flavour more and more. It's aromatic, rich, and lingers on the tongue. )
And honestly, that's the way it should always be. It was nobody's business but his own, and whoever he wanted to be with at the time. You know?
Humans... Sexuality is fluid. That'sβPeople at my old school would say that, especially the girls, 'cause they're, like, usually way more in tune with this stuff than guys are. Who you like can shift and change, and it doesn't need to be this, like, iron-clad thing. And some people never figure it out, and that's cool, too. If they're okay with just vibing, I mean.
[ He expects a simple answer, but that isn't in keeping with who Jonas is.
Not because he's incapable of it, or even because of his tendency to ramble. But because Jonas is caring, thoughtful, and observant. He knows what his friend has struggled with because he's sat with him through it, and he must know that just because Noctis has managed to accept something for himself doesn't in any way mean he knows how to maintain that acceptance. Or worse, to know how to interact with the rest of the world bearing it in mind.
There's a feeling that he was supposed to change somehow, overnight, and he carries as much discomfort with the fact that he hadn't as he would've felt if he had. But listening to Jonas talk shepherds his doubts elsewhere, at least for now. He can change everything, if he wants to, or he can change nothing. Both answers are okay if he's just here, alone, living for himself. ]
... yeah, I think you did.
[ Maybe it's the mood. Maybe it's the alcohol, or the color in Jonas's face, or how kind he's being. But right now, there's just one thing he wants to change.
For such a skilled fighter there's very little grace in the way his hand suddenly covers his friend's, heart beating a drumbeat in his ears when he gives into a beautiful brunet's gravitational pull. There's even less elegance in the way he leans forward, all at once, to press a kiss suddenly and with a little too much pressure against Jonas's cheek.
He lingers only a second or two, but when he does pull back he doesn't retreat more than a few inches, emboldened by his own action. ]
( Lips press into his cheek hard, which forms a crease at the corner of his mouth. It even tilts his head an inch to the side, and Jonas has to provide a counterweight to keep them from tipping into a confused pile by the fire.
The kiss isn't unexpected, not after their intimate discussion and the warm ways in which Noctis greeted him over the phone and now in person, but the time and date don't sync up with what he had planned. Someday, somewhen, after ensuring Noctis was more comfortable in his own skin, he'd consider something chaste. Something gentle and curious, unlike the hasty and delightful mess of his electrifying kisses with Cain.
But you never can underestimate Noctis. His friend has a way of defying conventionsβdespite having understandable anxieties about the many, many methods of execution.
Stunned into a momentary silence, Jonas can only turn his hand in Noctis' to grip his fingers more tightly, too caught up in looking at him to voice his appreciation. Searching for an answer, he finds it in the gaze he's always wanted to be focused on him. This isn't an experimental thing for Noctis. Jonas' bisexuality isn't being used as a test to gauge how one orientation can temporarily replace another. Noctis has feelings for him, and they're as real as his are for Noctis and Cain.
Once kissing Noctis back becomes a stronger desire than admiring such a significant step forward, hazel eyes drop to the beautiful curve of a pale, waiting mouth. And in releasing a quavering breath of wonderment, he raises his face to close the small gap between them with a brush of lips across a chilled pair. )
[ Normally, he would at least spare a thought for their surroundings, public as they still are despite their abandonment by the other caravaners. Now it feels impossible to care. His mind is absorbed entirely by Jonas, and any remaining, niggling concerns are blanketed by the crackling of a fire and the sound of music still playing from his datapad. Muffled, now, since it's fallen into the dusting of sand at their feet along with the bag of snack food when he angles his body closer to Jonas's.
A mouth over his sends a jolt through his body; he thought it might now feel familiar, but it's completely different, heat building in his already flushed cheeks. Is this what love is? He'd asked himself that the other night in the tent, and concluded it was. Then... this must be too, just another form of it, and if he weren't so consumed by a desire to experience and enjoy this feeling it might bring him to tears.
An elbow braces against that sloping cut of bone as he leans closer, fingers finding a grip that's at first tentative but quickly firms over the crook of Jonas's arm. The brush is too short and he's eager to push forward for another, slow and exploratory when he kisses a plush lower lip. His own part, then, for a soft exhale as he pulls back an inch to search Jonas's eyes for any hesitation.
Seeing none, he leans in again for another firmer, more confident seal of his mouth to a warm, inviting one. ]
( Goosebumps rise beneath the hand on his arm, spreading higher along his shoulder. When they hit the back of his neck, feeling them raise fine follicles along his hairline, he's willing to admit that he's wanted this for a while now. Kissing Noctis doesn't just feel good; it feels right. It feels like a promise that's being branded against his mouth as it opens against Noctis' to deepen what they started.
The soft exhale might as well be his name for how closely he listens for it, and when Noctis connects them again, a warm, dry hand comes to rest on his cheek. They're gathered together, then, chest to chest, finding the angle that's comfortable between them. Committing to the second is easy. Directing it is easier. He tastes spiced liquor and dried fruit. His thumb skims a high cheekbone and the shell of a soft ear, seeking feathery black hair. It's as touchable as he suspected it'd be; he's spent a few late nights now gazing up at the alien nightscape from the skylight in his tent, finding it impossible not to think about them.
( His lips curve into a smile, but his eyes close as tightly as his eyebrows knit.
He knows he must urge this sweet, sweet boy back with a gentler, distancing smear of a red, tender mouth. It hurts as much as resisting the pleasure pooling in his gut, denying his own stubborn stiffy by kneading into the muscle of Noctis' neck to ease away. )
Hey... I like you. I like this. ( Saying it again is easiest, though he wondered and wondered how different it'd feel in the light of day, with no grief colouring it blue.
Pink in the face, breathing unevenly, Jonas takes care that he squeezes the hand in his, too. This should be done delicately, especially when it'sβto his knowledgeβNoctis' first wholly reciprocated intimate interaction. Usually, he's not so mature, and probably wouldn't be if his best friend were sober, nor would he have behaved himself if he were drunk with him. But that's not how tonight will go. )
It's just... You've had a little too much to drink.
[ Jonas pulls him closer and it's as good as a confession of reciprocated feelings, offered back to him exactly the same way he pledged his own. The physical touch makes him feel warm, not just excited but secure here with him, sure that a scary decision was the right one. That he trusted the right person with his feelings.
Jonas pulls back and he leans in, stopping so close to lips that he wants to taste again that he can feel the breath from his words.
And at first, he doesn't register their meaning. ]
"Too much"...? [ It sounds like a joke. Is it a joke? When it's so obvious how they both feel, and when he's finally mustered the courage to act on it. Fingers lace more tightly with Jonas's, thumb massaging into the back of his hand. ]
I'm good, Jonas. Unless... if you're telling me you wanna' stop so you can catch up to me, I mean...
Noctis is so devastatingly beautiful that it makes Jonas dizzy with a strong heart flutter. He has angular features, but each has a softness to them that heβa simple boy with simple needsβimagines kissing would be too enjoyable to stop. Now that he has stopped, he has to stay firm on his decision.
Even when gazed at so closely by unfocused blue eyes.
Even when the challenge Noctis issues makes him want to laugh and smear his mouth down the length of his neck. )
I know you're good. I know, I just... ( Instead, his touch diverts from playing with dark hair that falls well past Noctis's ears to rest along his shoulder. ) I don't want to take advantage. I feel like I am, and I...
God, I want to kiss you all night, ( Jonas groans, looking down at their entwined fingers before squeezing his eyes shut again. ) Please go easy on me; the angel and devil on my shoulders are in an all-out brawl right now, like... You have no idea.
Edited (i hated what i wrote) 2026-01-20 00:41 (UTC)
[ That first night they shared a tent, he's certain he could've comforted both of them by also sharing Jonas's cot. Just to hold him, just to stay close. Now he feels like such a fool for having given up his opportunity. Even knowing that his own drunkenness is temporary and he won't have robbed himself of his chances once he sobers up in the morning, it's hard to accept that now. When this moment is perfect. When songs shift from one to another, and Electric Feel begins in earnest. ]
... okay. [ Finally, though his voice is soft and that faint smile refuses to fade in the wake of Jonas's sound of frustration. ]
I totally don't have to, though, so you owe me later. I just don't want you having regrets after or something.
[ Slowly he eases back even if his hand refuses to give up its prize just yet, allowing again for a comfortable distance between them. His lips are tingling, still imagining the feel of Jonas's pressed to them, and he wonders how he'll get to sleep tonight. ]
... not saying it to change your mind or anything... but you know I felt like that about you before tonight, right?
( He's peeking at Noctis sidelong when Electric Feels bassline kicks up, synthesizer effectively causing a change in mood. From something tender and understanding to a more high-energy flirting. )
Yeah, I had an inkling. I mean... our last couple of talks were intense. I know I was definitely feeling it then.
( He's got a similar smile stamped on that's seeming permanent tonight, even if he briefly tries to bite the corner of his lower lip to get rid of it. It's their hands and the distance Noctis thinks he needs.
Jonas is quick to bring him back against his side, wanting his warmth. It's harmless to slide his arm between Noctis' back and their dramatic bench to continue embracing him. )
I've got a lot of thinking to do, Noct, but... You can ask me for anything you want later. I don't think I'll have to remind you to cash in on that, but... I will anyway. ( If only to reiterate how strong his feelings are, that Noctis is a choice he's actively making and he intends to stay true to it.
This golden moment can't be tarnished too severely by the guilt he feels for not discussing this with Cain, but he feels better having stopped it from getting too far too quickly. Now he just has to find the time... and he wonders why the idea of it disappoints him so much.
His head's a mess, and the vibes of a song he hasn't heard in too long aren't helping. )
[ In any other circumstance a need to do "a lot of thinking" would set his teeth on edge, consumed as he so often is by his own hyper-analysis even if he's never been particularly good at it. Social anxiety tells him to question, but a pure appreciation for this moment fights back.
With Jonas's arm sliding behind him, such a simple gesture that's always felt so far away and impossible that it's laughable, it's easy for one to win out. His smile stays small because it's genuine, experiencing a pure feeling of contentment that he hasn't since... since when? Before he left Insomnia. Before he started high school. Before he moved out of the Citadel, arguing as he was with his father. ]
Yeah.
Actually... I feel good right now.
[ His heavy head tilts when he's urged against Jonas's side, cheek coming to rest against his shoulder with eyes fixed on that fire. They lower after a few moments, concentrated on still intertwined fingers that come to rest overtop their legs. ]
( Having his shoulder used as a pillow by Noctis makes Jonas want to jump his bones. The swell of aggression only tightens his fingers around their connection, pinning hands in place over his knee, not causing any harm. If he could, though, he'd take his friend down into the sand and kiss the shit out of him.
He sighs a little, eyes slipping shut to simply indulge in how sweet this is. How precious it makes him feel. How unsynchronized his hard-on is right now. )
Yeah, I'm okay.
( Shyly, he adds: ) You've got really soft hair. And, uh... lips. You're, like, beautiful. In a handsome way, I mean. Like, uh... Like a model or something.
[ Jonas stumbles his way through cheek-warming, chest-splitting compliments that he both wants to cut short and encourage to continue on for as long as he's allowed to hear them. A deep vein of implanted toxic masculinity rebels at one descriptor until it's corrected, but doesn't it also feel good when he sits with it? ]
Oh, got it... [ His hand teasingly slips from Jonas's all of a sudden, palm planting itself flat in the space between them when he lifts his head and scoots an inch away. ]
So because I'm too nerdy you want me to go, right? That's messed up... when I didn't say what a loser you are. I was gonna' stick around for your smile. Or... the stupid way you say things.
Go? ( What an inconceivable idea, immediately grabbing for the hand that's placed between them. ) After that one compliment and two backhanded... whatevers? Don't you dare. Get back here.
( Magneted to Noctis, Jonas leans in to close that inch, then chances a bit more. Lips press in what he hopes is a less scandalous way against a warm cheek, lingering only to
dab his skin with the tip of his tongue like a bingo dauber
"Backhanded"? Now you're ungrateful... it was one, tops. [ His hand is grabbed with an immediacy that excites him but that doesn't compare to Jonas's mouth again finding him, hot breath exhaled from his nose and cooling on skin newly dampened by his tongue. It sends a shock into his gut as he again pulls back with a playful shove, smile undaunted but flush deepened and gaze uncertain.
It's startling just how difficult it is not to glance down the collar of his shirt when he leans in or to take a little extra time to appreciate the shape of his arms when Jonas's face is already so breathtaking. ]
Geeze... you are the lamest guy I'veβ aren't you the one that wanted to cool it?
Now you're the one who's drunk. [ The words are barely out of his mouth before that blue stare is visibly lowering to Jonas's lips, again, having to exercise considerable willpower to make himself look away. ]
I am not drunk, that's the whole point. Otherwise, we'd be making out likeβ ( giggles in the most masculine way he can, which is not at all ) βoh my God, like crazy right now.
( Okay, so the liquor's hitting him, but he's got a pleasant buzz on, and that's not the level Noctis is at. It's nice like this, though, acting playful with each other while maintaining just enough intimate distance. Extreme flirting is a tantalizing new game they've invested themselves in.
He smiles warmly when Noctis again stares at his mouth, knowing exactly that feeling. )
We're doing a good job, though. At least, I think. Unless you're talking about something else that's "tough," and I'm misinterpreting the whole situation. I'm, like, actually perfectly fine just sitting here doing nothing with you, perv.
[ Maybe he should drink more. Maybe it would make him feel tired like he did the other night, and he can stop himself from getting so easily excited by the fantasy Jonas crafts like it isn't fundamentally relationship-changing.
He wants that. He wants to touch warm skin and kiss damp lips until they agree that the fire isn't warm enough but a shared cot would be. He wants to hear that they're both what the other wants, and to make a commitment he can wake up with tomorrow. ]
You are so... [ For the second time in a row, trying to describe Jonas ends in failure. He doesn't have to wonder why. ]
Have you even checked your messages and misfires? Oh, but I'm the big pervert out here. Yeah, sure, watch out for me, I'mβ [ The joke is exaggerated with a faint grin and intentionally rolled eyes, head lolling away from him once for him to suddenly make direct eye contact with an elderly woman hunched near the bench to their right.
It's just as obvious that she's come back for a forgotten shawl as it is that her task has been halted by overhearing their conversation, a look of judgment first given to the half-buried datapad still blasting music at their feet before it's then transferred to the "pervert" Noctis himself. ]
Ah. Hey, Yranataya. Sorry if it was loud again... or... [ His words aren't even out before she's turning on her heel, that sea-green cloth wrapped over her head and blocking them both from view as she slowly shuffles away. ]
( Yranataya's sudden appearance makes him jump with a quiet exclamation of "Jesus!"
Completely unexpected this late, adrenalized now into a state of euphoria when it's just one of the caravaners, and he knows they're still safe, among kind company, and simultaneously judged with a powerful stink eye. While Noctis labours through an apology, Jonas clears his throat, the first sign he's planning something.
The second is digging his heels in to keep himself steady so Noctis doesn't side-tackle him into the sand. )
... He's actually not sorry at all, Yranataya! ( Expecting strong resistance, even with Noctis' head pillowed on his shoulder, Jonas grabs for his friend's wrists so he's not forcibly muffled by a hand. ) He's... he's telling me you could move your tent or get earplugs! Oh, my God, now he's making rude gesturesβ
( Laughing as the old woman casts a rotted, disbelieving look over her shoulder, one Jonas knows from experience means "Kids these days." )
[ His first course of action is to attempt to side-tackle Jonas into the sand, which is counteracted by dug-in heels. His second course of action is to try to slap a hand over Jonas's mouth to muffle him, which is counteracted by hands gripping his wrists. Damn, he's good.
Of course it wouldn't be any significant challenge for Noctis to overpower him in each and every way, but with as drunk as he is he doesn't trust his own limitations. It's obvious in the way he pushes against him almost laughably gently at first, firming up his protestations but never to the point where he thinks it might actually cause him any pain. ]
I'm not! You can't even see my hands, seriously! [ Is that worse?
His head lifts just in time to see her disappearing towards the collection of other tents, trying to decide just how real his own mortification is if it's almost impossible for him to keep from smiling. ]
You are... the biggest asshole I have ever m-met... [ Words disintegrate into poorly smothered laughs as he finally frees a hand to give him a shove, dead-center to his chest. Deserved. ]
Why was I ever nice to you... I take it all back, actually. Since day one.
Oh, please! ( Jonas cries out in response, rubbing the centre of his chest after he's done reeling and swinging his arms to stay on their bone bench. ) That sounds so believable when you're, like, laughing your ass off!
( He is, too. When was the last time they did this? Have they ever?
Even drunk, playing games with Cain, exchanging questions both fun and not, they didn't laugh this hard. He hasn't with Cain, either. Nothing can ruin this moment, but the night feels... disjointed without him here.
Fingers brush Noctis' shoulder, slipping up the side of his neck and behind his ear. A lock of hair is tucked there, and Jonas smiles. )
Try your hand at being mean to me. Go on, I gotta hear this.
[ Actually subjecting Jonas to violence is, of course, laughable, so he eases up on him when the other boy fights for his balance. It's hard, though. It makes for a good excuse to touch him when the line is as blurry as it is right now, not trying to tempt his tipsy friend into making a mistake that he might be too drunk to recognize as one.
Then Jonas tucks his hair behind his ear, and his chest suddenly feels like it's about to burst. A sharp intake of breath is held like he can somehow freeze the moment in place if he refuses to react, that single gesture startling him to his core perhaps more than the feel of lips on his had. It feels like something a lover would do, not for any sexual reason but just to make their partner feel taken care of. ]
You're really... special.
[ A bit lamely, and it's clear from his expression and tone that either he hasn't heard Jonas or can't even fathom trying. Only after a moment does he blink, remembering himself. ]
... wow. I should be sleeping, huh... Instead I'm out here with some idiot...
( After a mediocre life, exceptional things can still happen to him. Meeting Noctis was a surprise, and he's become a lighthouse in the void of everything else since. To hear this bright boy call him special is indescribable, but he knows how it all culminates: Love.
He loves him. He's been waiting for him for millennia.
Another kiss is placed where a talking mouth is, though it's chaste. Simple affection with nowhere else to go. )
Yeah, you are, but... don't go. Can't you just sit out here like this for a while?
[ The way Jonas looks at him is overwhelming, like a responsibility he fears fumbling but one that he's actually chosen for himself. To go from silly jokes to this so quickly is dizzying, but lips that press tenderness into his own justify it all as forged from a common purpose. That romantic attraction is strong, for both of them, and he trusts that not even alcohol could cause him to misconstrue what they both want from each other.
Does he have a boyfriend now? Does he have to ask first? He wants to ask, he realizes, but if kissing is inadvisable then that can only be worse. Leaning in against him again is an impossible gravitational pull to resist, but that sway is caught before he recreates their shared moment with a little less tenderness. ]
... sorry. I know I invited you out here and everything and you were probably sleeping before. I'm thinking... probably I should head back to my tent. [ He lingers, expression comically serious even as he's trying his hardest not to stare at Jonas's mouth.
And after battling with himself for far too long, he unnecessarily adds: ] You know I'm saying that because I have to, right? Not because I wanna' blow you off.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Noctis employs a good-natured snort and that single word to communicate to Jonas exactly what he thinks of him trying to in any way physically abuse the elderly, certain that the boy next to him must be one of the kindest people he's met and therefore utterly incapable of such cruelty. That's special, isn't it? Not the low bar he's set for his friend's kindness, but the wealth of it in general. Jonas has been tested by life in some of the worst ways but he's still here, carving out time to devote to Noctis's journey. ]
Ahh... [ Eyes drift down to the datapad as he pretends to focus in on song titles and not his friend's fingers, huffing out a held breath. ]
Yeah... no, I remember. How'd you know? That he's gay.
He just told everybody? [ Before he can bring himself to prompt Jonas to sing more, too interested in what a life like that looks like for someone on Earth to rush past it. ]
tl;dr freddie mercuryβ€οΈ
And, so, like, some people thought he was bisexual, into guys and girlsβlike me. ( Fair's fair in Jonas' world; he tells Noctis as proudly as he can, which includes bowing his head and placing a hand showily on his chest to indicate himself. ) Others thought he was gay. I don't know the full, like... full breakdown, but it was basically fifty-fifty. Like, some people said he was closetedβthat's just, like, he didn't "come out" or whatever, like it's slang for not coming outβand others said he was pretty open about it.
( Aware he's rambling, he pauses briefly to take another deep swig of spiced liquor, finding himself enjoying the flavour more and more. It's aromatic, rich, and lingers on the tongue. )
And honestly, that's the way it should always be. It was nobody's business but his own, and whoever he wanted to be with at the time. You know?
Humans... Sexuality is fluid. That'sβPeople at my old school would say that, especially the girls, 'cause they're, like, usually way more in tune with this stuff than guys are. Who you like can shift and change, and it doesn't need to be this, like, iron-clad thing. And some people never figure it out, and that's cool, too. If they're okay with just vibing, I mean.
... Anyway... Yeah.
( ... )
Did I even answer your question?
covers face
Not because he's incapable of it, or even because of his tendency to ramble. But because Jonas is caring, thoughtful, and observant. He knows what his friend has struggled with because he's sat with him through it, and he must know that just because Noctis has managed to accept something for himself doesn't in any way mean he knows how to maintain that acceptance. Or worse, to know how to interact with the rest of the world bearing it in mind.
There's a feeling that he was supposed to change somehow, overnight, and he carries as much discomfort with the fact that he hadn't as he would've felt if he had. But listening to Jonas talk shepherds his doubts elsewhere, at least for now. He can change everything, if he wants to, or he can change nothing. Both answers are okay if he's just here, alone, living for himself. ]
... yeah, I think you did.
[ Maybe it's the mood. Maybe it's the alcohol, or the color in Jonas's face, or how kind he's being. But right now, there's just one thing he wants to change.
For such a skilled fighter there's very little grace in the way his hand suddenly covers his friend's, heart beating a drumbeat in his ears when he gives into a beautiful brunet's gravitational pull. There's even less elegance in the way he leans forward, all at once, to press a kiss suddenly and with a little too much pressure against Jonas's cheek.
He lingers only a second or two, but when he does pull back he doesn't retreat more than a few inches, emboldened by his own action. ]
roasts alive
The kiss isn't unexpected, not after their intimate discussion and the warm ways in which Noctis greeted him over the phone and now in person, but the time and date don't sync up with what he had planned. Someday, somewhen, after ensuring Noctis was more comfortable in his own skin, he'd consider something chaste. Something gentle and curious, unlike the hasty and delightful mess of his electrifying kisses with Cain.
But you never can underestimate Noctis. His friend has a way of defying conventionsβdespite having understandable anxieties about the many, many methods of execution.
Stunned into a momentary silence, Jonas can only turn his hand in Noctis' to grip his fingers more tightly, too caught up in looking at him to voice his appreciation. Searching for an answer, he finds it in the gaze he's always wanted to be focused on him. This isn't an experimental thing for Noctis. Jonas' bisexuality isn't being used as a test to gauge how one orientation can temporarily replace another. Noctis has feelings for him, and they're as real as his are for Noctis and Cain.
Once kissing Noctis back becomes a stronger desire than admiring such a significant step forward, hazel eyes drop to the beautiful curve of a pale, waiting mouth. And in releasing a quavering breath of wonderment, he raises his face to close the small gap between them with a brush of lips across a chilled pair. )
no subject
A mouth over his sends a jolt through his body; he thought it might now feel familiar, but it's completely different, heat building in his already flushed cheeks. Is this what love is? He'd asked himself that the other night in the tent, and concluded it was. Then... this must be too, just another form of it, and if he weren't so consumed by a desire to experience and enjoy this feeling it might bring him to tears.
An elbow braces against that sloping cut of bone as he leans closer, fingers finding a grip that's at first tentative but quickly firms over the crook of Jonas's arm. The brush is too short and he's eager to push forward for another, slow and exploratory when he kisses a plush lower lip. His own part, then, for a soft exhale as he pulls back an inch to search Jonas's eyes for any hesitation.
Seeing none, he leans in again for another firmer, more confident seal of his mouth to a warm, inviting one. ]
1/2
The soft exhale might as well be his name for how closely he listens for it, and when Noctis connects them again, a warm, dry hand comes to rest on his cheek. They're gathered together, then, chest to chest, finding the angle that's comfortable between them. Committing to the second is easy. Directing it is easier. He tastes spiced liquor and dried fruit. His thumb skims a high cheekbone and the shell of a soft ear, seeking feathery black hair. It's as touchable as he suspected it'd be; he's spent a few late nights now gazing up at the alien nightscape from the skylight in his tent, finding it impossible not to think about them.
Noctis. Cain. )
2/2
He knows he must urge this sweet, sweet boy back with a gentler, distancing smear of a red, tender mouth. It hurts as much as resisting the pleasure pooling in his gut, denying his own stubborn stiffy by kneading into the muscle of Noctis' neck to ease away. )
Hey... I like you. I like this. ( Saying it again is easiest, though he wondered and wondered how different it'd feel in the light of day, with no grief colouring it blue.
Pink in the face, breathing unevenly, Jonas takes care that he squeezes the hand in his, too. This should be done delicately, especially when it'sβto his knowledgeβNoctis' first wholly reciprocated intimate interaction. Usually, he's not so mature, and probably wouldn't be if his best friend were sober, nor would he have behaved himself if he were drunk with him. But that's not how tonight will go. )
It's just... You've had a little too much to drink.
no subject
Jonas pulls back and he leans in, stopping so close to lips that he wants to taste again that he can feel the breath from his words.
And at first, he doesn't register their meaning. ]
"Too much"...? [ It sounds like a joke. Is it a joke? When it's so obvious how they both feel, and when he's finally mustered the courage to act on it. Fingers lace more tightly with Jonas's, thumb massaging into the back of his hand. ]
I'm good, Jonas. Unless... if you're telling me you wanna' stop so you can catch up to me, I mean...
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Noctis is so devastatingly beautiful that it makes Jonas dizzy with a strong heart flutter. He has angular features, but each has a softness to them that heβa simple boy with simple needsβimagines kissing would be too enjoyable to stop. Now that he has stopped, he has to stay firm on his decision.
Even when gazed at so closely by unfocused blue eyes.
Even when the challenge Noctis issues makes him want to laugh and smear his mouth down the length of his neck. )
I know you're good. I know, I just... ( Instead, his touch diverts from playing with dark hair that falls well past Noctis's ears to rest along his shoulder. ) I don't want to take advantage. I feel like I am, and I...
God, I want to kiss you all night, ( Jonas groans, looking down at their entwined fingers before squeezing his eyes shut again. ) Please go easy on me; the angel and devil on my shoulders are in an all-out brawl right now, like... You have no idea.
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... okay. [ Finally, though his voice is soft and that faint smile refuses to fade in the wake of Jonas's sound of frustration. ]
I totally don't have to, though, so you owe me later. I just don't want you having regrets after or something.
[ Slowly he eases back even if his hand refuses to give up its prize just yet, allowing again for a comfortable distance between them. His lips are tingling, still imagining the feel of Jonas's pressed to them, and he wonders how he'll get to sleep tonight. ]
... not saying it to change your mind or anything... but you know I felt like that about you before tonight, right?
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Yeah, I had an inkling. I mean... our last couple of talks were intense. I know I was definitely feeling it then.
( He's got a similar smile stamped on that's seeming permanent tonight, even if he briefly tries to bite the corner of his lower lip to get rid of it. It's their hands and the distance Noctis thinks he needs.
Jonas is quick to bring him back against his side, wanting his warmth. It's harmless to slide his arm between Noctis' back and their dramatic bench to continue embracing him. )
I've got a lot of thinking to do, Noct, but... You can ask me for anything you want later. I don't think I'll have to remind you to cash in on that, but... I will anyway. ( If only to reiterate how strong his feelings are, that Noctis is a choice he's actively making and he intends to stay true to it.
This golden moment can't be tarnished too severely by the guilt he feels for not discussing this with Cain, but he feels better having stopped it from getting too far too quickly. Now he just has to find the time... and he wonders why the idea of it disappoints him so much.
His head's a mess, and the vibes of a song he hasn't heard in too long aren't helping. )
Are you okay?
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With Jonas's arm sliding behind him, such a simple gesture that's always felt so far away and impossible that it's laughable, it's easy for one to win out. His smile stays small because it's genuine, experiencing a pure feeling of contentment that he hasn't since... since when? Before he left Insomnia. Before he started high school. Before he moved out of the Citadel, arguing as he was with his father. ]
Yeah.
Actually... I feel good right now.
[ His heavy head tilts when he's urged against Jonas's side, cheek coming to rest against his shoulder with eyes fixed on that fire. They lower after a few moments, concentrated on still intertwined fingers that come to rest overtop their legs. ]
Are you okay?
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He sighs a little, eyes slipping shut to simply indulge in how sweet this is. How precious it makes him feel. How unsynchronized his hard-on is right now. )
Yeah, I'm okay.
( Shyly, he adds: ) You've got really soft hair. And, uh... lips. You're, like, beautiful. In a handsome way, I mean. Like, uh... Like a model or something.
( ... )
It's really too bad you're a giant nerd...
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Oh, got it... [ His hand teasingly slips from Jonas's all of a sudden, palm planting itself flat in the space between them when he lifts his head and scoots an inch away. ]
So because I'm too nerdy you want me to go, right? That's messed up... when I didn't say what a loser you are. I was gonna' stick around for your smile. Or... the stupid way you say things.
Or your nice singing voice.
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( Magneted to Noctis, Jonas leans in to close that inch, then chances a bit more. Lips press in what he hopes is a less scandalous way against a warm cheek, lingering only to
dab his skin with the tip of his tongue like a bingo dauber
BLEP.π )
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It's startling just how difficult it is not to glance down the collar of his shirt when he leans in or to take a little extra time to appreciate the shape of his arms when Jonas's face is already so breathtaking. ]
Geeze... you are the lamest guy I'veβ aren't you the one that wanted to cool it?
Now you're the one who's drunk. [ The words are barely out of his mouth before that blue stare is visibly lowering to Jonas's lips, again, having to exercise considerable willpower to make himself look away. ]
... this is kinda' tough, actually.
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( Okay, so the liquor's hitting him, but he's got a pleasant buzz on, and that's not the level Noctis is at. It's nice like this, though, acting playful with each other while maintaining just enough intimate distance. Extreme flirting is a tantalizing new game they've invested themselves in.
He smiles warmly when Noctis again stares at his mouth, knowing exactly that feeling. )
We're doing a good job, though. At least, I think. Unless you're talking about something else that's "tough," and I'm misinterpreting the whole situation. I'm, like, actually perfectly fine just sitting here doing nothing with you, perv.
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He wants that. He wants to touch warm skin and kiss damp lips until they agree that the fire isn't warm enough but a shared cot would be. He wants to hear that they're both what the other wants, and to make a commitment he can wake up with tomorrow. ]
You are so... [ For the second time in a row, trying to describe Jonas ends in failure. He doesn't have to wonder why. ]
Have you even checked your messages and misfires? Oh, but I'm the big pervert out here. Yeah, sure, watch out for me, I'mβ [ The joke is exaggerated with a faint grin and intentionally rolled eyes, head lolling away from him once for him to suddenly make direct eye contact with an elderly woman hunched near the bench to their right.
It's just as obvious that she's come back for a forgotten shawl as it is that her task has been halted by overhearing their conversation, a look of judgment first given to the half-buried datapad still blasting music at their feet before it's then transferred to the "pervert" Noctis himself. ]
Ah. Hey, Yranataya. Sorry if it was loud again... or... [ His words aren't even out before she's turning on her heel, that sea-green cloth wrapped over her head and blocking them both from view as she slowly shuffles away. ]
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Please just tell me when she's gone.
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Completely unexpected this late, adrenalized now into a state of euphoria when it's just one of the caravaners, and he knows they're still safe, among kind company, and simultaneously judged with a powerful stink eye. While Noctis labours through an apology, Jonas clears his throat, the first sign he's planning something.
The second is digging his heels in to keep himself steady so Noctis doesn't side-tackle him into the sand. )
... He's actually not sorry at all, Yranataya! ( Expecting strong resistance, even with Noctis' head pillowed on his shoulder, Jonas grabs for his friend's wrists so he's not forcibly muffled by a hand. ) He's... he's telling me you could move your tent or get earplugs! Oh, my God, now he's making rude gesturesβ
( Laughing as the old woman casts a rotted, disbelieving look over her shoulder, one Jonas knows from experience means "Kids these days." )
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Of course it wouldn't be any significant challenge for Noctis to overpower him in each and every way, but with as drunk as he is he doesn't trust his own limitations. It's obvious in the way he pushes against him almost laughably gently at first, firming up his protestations but never to the point where he thinks it might actually cause him any pain. ]
I'm not! You can't even see my hands, seriously! [ Is that worse?
His head lifts just in time to see her disappearing towards the collection of other tents, trying to decide just how real his own mortification is if it's almost impossible for him to keep from smiling. ]
You are... the biggest asshole I have ever m-met... [ Words disintegrate into poorly smothered laughs as he finally frees a hand to give him a shove, dead-center to his chest. Deserved. ]
Why was I ever nice to you... I take it all back, actually. Since day one.
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( He is, too. When was the last time they did this? Have they ever?
Even drunk, playing games with Cain, exchanging questions both fun and not, they didn't laugh this hard. He hasn't with Cain, either. Nothing can ruin this moment, but the night feels... disjointed without him here.
Fingers brush Noctis' shoulder, slipping up the side of his neck and behind his ear. A lock of hair is tucked there, and Jonas smiles. )
Try your hand at being mean to me. Go on, I gotta hear this.
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Then Jonas tucks his hair behind his ear, and his chest suddenly feels like it's about to burst. A sharp intake of breath is held like he can somehow freeze the moment in place if he refuses to react, that single gesture startling him to his core perhaps more than the feel of lips on his had. It feels like something a lover would do, not for any sexual reason but just to make their partner feel taken care of. ]
You're really... special.
[ A bit lamely, and it's clear from his expression and tone that either he hasn't heard Jonas or can't even fathom trying. Only after a moment does he blink, remembering himself. ]
... wow. I should be sleeping, huh... Instead I'm out here with some idiot...
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He loves him. He's been waiting for him for millennia.
Another kiss is placed where a talking mouth is, though it's chaste. Simple affection with nowhere else to go. )
Yeah, you are, but... don't go. Can't you just sit out here like this for a while?
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Does he have a boyfriend now? Does he have to ask first? He wants to ask, he realizes, but if kissing is inadvisable then that can only be worse. Leaning in against him again is an impossible gravitational pull to resist, but that sway is caught before he recreates their shared moment with a little less tenderness. ]
... sorry. I know I invited you out here and everything and you were probably sleeping before. I'm thinking... probably I should head back to my tent. [ He lingers, expression comically serious even as he's trying his hardest not to stare at Jonas's mouth.
And after battling with himself for far too long, he unnecessarily adds: ] You know I'm saying that because I have to, right? Not because I wanna' blow you off.
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