𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚖, 𝚒𝚗-𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚡.

[coherer]

JONAS WARD
"That's between you and your priest."

TEXT. AUDIO. VIDEO. ACTION.

Comments

[coherer]

Oh I'm seeing it alright
Mexican food is spicy Nosha
Duh😛

I'd actually need a whole day to explain how I'm white to you so maybe some other time when we're all extremely bored

yk there's an archive right
Google it
While you're there Google googling smth so I don't have to explain that too

1/2

[fessus]

[ I HATE BOTH OF YOU ]

2/2

[fessus]

Sure let me interrupt every convo to go look stuff up

Brb researching 😒😒😒

[blyat]

yeah look up "white guy"
it'll just be a pic of j's face

[look he can be in on the joke too]

c'mon you like researching stuff, don't you
you're the biggest nerd between us

hey what's the first thing you guys are gonna do when we get back to the main ship?

[coherer]

Atta boy
Okay Cain quick while he's gone let's talk about sports

Actually before that Ill tell you that I'm gonna take a 4 hour shower and sleep in a bed for 80 years
Then I'm going to eat everything I want
Then I'm probably gonna text you guys bc I'm gonna be bored again

hbu guys??

[fessus]

Wow how original, Noctis isn't into sports bc he's super talented re: video games and spent all the rest of his free time doing combat training, wow what a loser

You guys can't even fish

I'm getting one of the robots to cut my hair first thing

[blyat]

fishing isn't a sport

[said so confidently]

ugh yeah i should probably dye my hair, it's getting faded from all the sun
hope the robots have the right color

how long until jonas actually texts us
like 5 mins after he's gone around the corner, right

[coherer]

Fishing is actually a sport
It's just not recognized as like
THE sport ykwim

( said so confidently )

I can't believe you're gonna actually try to make fun of me when the first thing both of you are doing is getting your hair done
Noctis knows better right Noct
I said fishing is a sport
Nosha I said fishing is a sport🥺🥺🥺
Noshaaaaaaaaaaa🥺

[fessus]

Fishing's bigger than just a sport, you're not facing off with an animal in other sports

If we're teaming up J then turn off the friendly fire. I want my hair trimmed bc it's in my face, he's the one actually being vain

[ ... ]

Did they really provide you with hair dye where you were stationed?

[blyat]

says who
fishing isn't like hunting so i call bullshit

nah
it was basically contraband

[is he fucking with them, or...]

you guys just want cool hair too, don't be jealous

1/3

[coherer]

It is/would be super hot on you guys but hair dye would truly look awful on me
Especially blue oh my god
Do not try to convince me otherwise
I need a haircut too I've got a horrific flow happening rn the shower just wins out

2/3

[coherer]

( ...

wait )

3/4 i lied

[coherer]

( HURRIEDLY: )

Sorry lol it'd be super cool I mean
Got my temperatures mixed up haha😛

4/4

[coherer]

Anyway spear fishing is literally hunting so like fishing fishing is definitely a form of hunting
Or like
Luring

Okay did yk that you have to catch catfish (they're big fat fish with whiskers idk what to say here) by shoving your arm into their mouths??

( a fucking smooth as SILK save )

[fessus]

[ "It is/would be super hot on you guys"

Cain and Jonas complimenting each other with that level of openness isn't something he hasn't seen yet. Hell, Cain was the one just demanding that he be called "sexy" as his new nickname. But seeing it now makes him feel... well... shouldn't he be more focused on the fact that for one horrifying split second he considered the pros and cons of dyeing his own hair?

Is that what Jonas is into? He's leaving the message unresponded to for a telling amount of time, he realizes. Maybe he should find an excuse to head back out to the oasis for some more fishing... ]

My friend dyed part of his hair once, no way I'm doing that. It fits Cain but as the guy with the best hair of the three of us?? I'm not taking chances

I caught a fish so big once it took me + my friends to get it out of the water, even my arm in its mouth wouldn't have been enough

[ YES GREAT SWERVE ]

[blyat]

[The initial slip of language doesn't even get Cain's attention until Jonas is course-correcting like a car going the wrong way into traffic. Noctis isn't much better, though he's at least left the conversation in such a way that it would only be more awkward to address it now.

Hm... much to overthink when he can't sleep at 3am tonight...]

"best hair" yeah right
let jonas be the judge of that
who's got the best hair, j?

anyway i still don't believe fishing is a sport

[coherer]

( haha they fucking bought it... whew, that was close )

"Party in the front" best hair goes to Cain
"Party in the back" best hair goes to Noctis

Overall best hair goes to that tall blond guy

( he's talking about alucard )

Comment on how impressive hauling that big of a fish out of the water is Cain like
Think of the arm strength required
And the right bait and the right line so it doesn't snap
And the angles you pull it in at
And you gotta make sure it doesn't just pull you under and drown you
Comment on that

[fessus]

Yeah except he won't even braid it out here

[ immediately knows it's Alucard

Maybe if he thinks about him long enough he can forget this "hot" convo. ]

Do I have to send a pic as proof? Of the fish not Prompto's hair. Btw messed up to not include yourself in the running for a best hair candidate

[blyat]

uh
are you talking about the vampire guy

[just to make sure he's on the same page here.]

i agree to j winning best hair

look, fish are freaky
like they're just out there swimming where you can't see em? can touch you underwater? no thanks
i'm good

[coherer]

( he wants to blush and preen about winning best hair but

vampire??????????????? )

The what now

[fessus]

Cool we can all say Jonas has the best hair to keep the peace even tho it's me

Anyway he means Alucard, same guy. Vampire/dhampir apparently, which is def weirder than fish but Cain's got messed up judgement

[blyat]

whatever helps you sleep, nosha

[Look, okay... It's definitely cool that Noctis can catch giant fish, but he's not admitting that out loud here right now...]

i thought it was weird too but apparently he doesn't even drink human blood

[coherer]

You guys are underreacting to this

( underreacts to this )

The way Cain's underreacting to your big fish😛
(I'm sucking up to him)

Send pic of fatty immediately
Also vampires die in the sunlight and he's in a desert????????

1/2

[fessus]

Tbh I think the weirdest part is that we all know what a vampire is? Add it to the Cup Noodle list

Which means ik vampire lore changes story to story so he must be one of the sunny ones

[ prePARE yourselves ]

2/2

[fessus]

[ sent: kingoffishing.jpg ]

There take a long hard look and say it isn't a sport again. I'll even accept apologies for the next 30 secs 😌