Just like after you and Cain squared everything away and you started texting/meeting up to talk again I'm wondering if I wasn't maybe a second choice? If you like him or he likes you and you guys talked about it but it didn't work out or something
Again I'm not mad at all I just need to understand what I'm responding to too My brain is swelling rn I'm like trying not to get it all fucked up but I'm honestly really confused here
Me sharing all that shit with you was the first time I talked to anyone about it. Everything we did was me figuring it out for the first time. Why are you even asking me that when that should be my line?
Saying you wanna be my boyfriend one second and then telling me you already confessed to him like two seconds later? But I'm supposed to be fine with it obv bc he didn't respond. No he makes it obvious to me instead, but I've gotta act like an idiot and try to make sure you're both okay when he's made his choice and so have you
The backup option. And now you're asking me? After you can't help but text each other like that in front of me bc you're such great friends
You're right, you sound like a douchebag. You both do rn
"That is it"? What is this, your gotcha moment? Just bc it's your first time that means I can't feel fucked up about all of this?
I apologized for flirting with him, it was the only time it's happened so I'm actually glad it happened in front of you so you saw the literal EXTENT of it It was hard to just shake myself out of it all of a sudden, I'm like
( Breath shaking, tired of the drama involving the three of them, Jonas, not for the first time in his life, just pops. )
I wanted to be honest with you and you accused me of never talking to Cain about this stuff, so what was I supposed to do??? Not say anything????? Or be like "Yeah Noctis we actually don't ever talk about anything, you two are the only ones amazing enough to always talk about everything ever even though you treat it like a competition" That sounds super healthy Guess what I like to do?? Not force people into answering things constantly when they're clearly uncomfortable and trying to GET comfortable
Please PLEASE stop acting like you're some martyr middleman when no one asked you to be that He made his choice and so did I, but somehow I'm the one complicating it all by myself when you're the one trying to make sure we're all alright moving forward?? I made a single mistake And yeah I like you and I liked him, I still like him, and I can't get rid of that feeling so fucking quickly lmfao But I'm trying really REALLY hard to because I want to be with you So can you cut me some damn slack here???
I'm way too worked up Now I need time to think so like just stop texting me for a bit It's not your fault or anything it's okay I just need time to cool off
[ Some of those words make him so angry. Some of them cut at him exactly the wrong way and genuinely hurt him. Some make him embittered.
The strongest impression, however, comes at the very end, where a strong desire he empathizes with makes him want to sit down with Jonas and lament just how unfair this is. They love each other, and they're yelling at each other like complete jackasses. And fucking... fucking Cain–
Why ask about him? Because he admitted to Jonas that he kissed him back? Jonas doesn't know about the quiet conversations they've had or the late night chats. He doesn't know that when Noctis says they're "doing better" it actually means things have changed between them completely. That the "forcing" and the "competition" have been discussed and worked on by both of them. And even with all that, he still thinks to ask?
What's he been showing? Has Cain said something?
And now Jonas wants him to sit quietly and just accept that shitty message. This is such bullshit. ]
Do that then
I'm heading out for a while
"well, while i'm already fucking things up, i might as well text cain!" goes to do that
He regrets being so dismissive of Noctis, because now it's going to be damn near impossible to find him to apologize. To make any of this right. And it feels like he's lost something crucial he won't ever get back.
How will this wind up in the end? When they're all done talking and they have to make one final decision?
Will any of them be happy?
It's hard to imagine now, as he wipes at his eyes, trying to calm his breathing. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I'm wondering if I wasn't maybe a second choice?
If you like him or he likes you and you guys talked about it but it didn't work out or something
Again I'm not mad at all I just need to understand what I'm responding to too
My brain is swelling rn I'm like trying not to get it all fucked up but I'm honestly really confused here
no subject
No Jonas
Me sharing all that shit with you was the first time I talked to anyone about it. Everything we did was me figuring it out for the first time. Why are you even asking me that when that should be my line?
Saying you wanna be my boyfriend one second and then telling me you already confessed to him like two seconds later? But I'm supposed to be fine with it obv bc he didn't respond. No he makes it obvious to me instead, but I've gotta act like an idiot and try to make sure you're both okay when he's made his choice and so have you
The backup option. And now you're asking me? After you can't help but text each other like that in front of me bc you're such great friends
You're right, you sound like a douchebag. You both do rn
1/2
What is this, your gotcha moment?
Just bc it's your first time that means I can't feel fucked up about all of this?
I apologized for flirting with him, it was the only time it's happened so I'm actually glad it happened in front of you so you saw the literal EXTENT of it
It was hard to just shake myself out of it all of a sudden, I'm like
( Breath shaking, tired of the drama involving the three of them, Jonas, not for the first time in his life, just pops. )
I wanted to be honest with you and you accused me of never talking to Cain about this stuff, so what was I supposed to do???
Not say anything?????
Or be like "Yeah Noctis we actually don't ever talk about anything, you two are the only ones amazing enough to always talk about everything ever even though you treat it like a competition"
That sounds super healthy
Guess what I like to do??
Not force people into answering things constantly when they're clearly uncomfortable and trying to GET comfortable
Please PLEASE stop acting like you're some martyr middleman when no one asked you to be that
He made his choice and so did I, but somehow I'm the one complicating it all by myself when you're the one trying to make sure we're all alright moving forward??
I made a single mistake
And yeah I like you and I liked him, I still like him, and I can't get rid of that feeling so fucking quickly lmfao
But I'm trying really REALLY hard to because I want to be with you
So can you cut me some damn slack here???
2/2 two minutes later:
It's not your fault or anything it's okay I just need time to cool off
no subject
The strongest impression, however, comes at the very end, where a strong desire he empathizes with makes him want to sit down with Jonas and lament just how unfair this is. They love each other, and they're yelling at each other like complete jackasses. And fucking... fucking Cain–
Why ask about him? Because he admitted to Jonas that he kissed him back? Jonas doesn't know about the quiet conversations they've had or the late night chats. He doesn't know that when Noctis says they're "doing better" it actually means things have changed between them completely. That the "forcing" and the "competition" have been discussed and worked on by both of them. And even with all that, he still thinks to ask?
What's he been showing? Has Cain said something?
And now Jonas wants him to sit quietly and just accept that shitty message. This is such bullshit. ]
Do that then
I'm heading out for a while
"well, while i'm already fucking things up, i might as well text cain!" goes to do that
He regrets being so dismissive of Noctis, because now it's going to be damn near impossible to find him to apologize. To make any of this right. And it feels like he's lost something crucial he won't ever get back.
How will this wind up in the end? When they're all done talking and they have to make one final decision?
Will any of them be happy?
It's hard to imagine now, as he wipes at his eyes, trying to calm his breathing. )