𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚖, 𝚒𝚗-𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚡.

[coherer]

JONAS WARD
"That's between you and your priest."

TEXT. AUDIO. VIDEO. ACTION.

Comments

[blyat]

don't actually do that, idiot
leave the whales alone

chilligan and angelika make a good match

thanks
never heard of it, so it must've been a weird earth thing that didn't make it to space
weird that eos would have it too
most of what i ate came out of a machine

[coherer]

I want them to kiss but it's forbidden bc it'd require them to like crash into each other

It's like chill + Gilligan though who's some TV guy my dad used to talk about
He was a first mate, so like not the captain but not nobody either
Total buffoon though so it's super accurate all around

( his dad is a giant nerd clearly )

What was your favourite machine food Cain
Noct do you like spicy things

[fessus]

If they tried their shields would make them bump off each other, Cain and I learned that day 1

And a better question is "what's your least favorite machine food Cain?"

Spicy's fine but I always got told too much would you sick, idk if it's true. My other friend's really into it tho. I'm guessing neither of you can handle it at all, tell me I'm wrong

[blyat]

we are NOT crashing OR bumping them together

but yeah, that name sounds 👌
i didn't put that much thought into angelika's, it's just a good name
like you know she's hot even if you haven't met her

[someone tell cain he can't fuck his ship]

why do you think i can't handle spicy food, 'course i can
i had "borscht" from the machine and it was pretty good
anything with potatoes is solid
vegetables on their own just kinda turn into a mushy paste

[coherer]

Wow is that why you guys were fighting hahahaha
It all makes sense now

I weirdly pick up what you're putting down though
Like when girls have THOSE names
Like Tiffany or something

( get these two fucking dudebros away from each other )

I'm a typical white guy, I can't handle spicy
I like medium spice level at most like spicy salsa on my Mexican food (Mexico is an Earth country)
Borscht is such a Russian food though
Even ik about borscht

What's the spiciest thing you guys ever ate??

1/3

[fessus]

W/e it was an accident and I apologized

[ doesn't even try to deny that this was his fault... but does he really have to when they move on to something else ]

2/3

[fessus]

[ ]

Tiffany??

3/3

[fessus]

Forget it

Yk how bad you guys are at explaining things? What's borscht? What's Mexican food like? Is a white guy slang for someone from Oregon?

Wow Random Food X is so stereotypically Altissian, I like spicy salsa on my Cleigne food

See how that told you nothing

[blyat]

someone's getting feisty again
you seeing this, j

[it's cute as hell...]

[coherer]

Oh I'm seeing it alright
Mexican food is spicy Nosha
Duh😛

I'd actually need a whole day to explain how I'm white to you so maybe some other time when we're all extremely bored

yk there's an archive right
Google it
While you're there Google googling smth so I don't have to explain that too

1/2

[fessus]

[ I HATE BOTH OF YOU ]

2/2

[fessus]

Sure let me interrupt every convo to go look stuff up

Brb researching 😒😒😒

[blyat]

yeah look up "white guy"
it'll just be a pic of j's face

[look he can be in on the joke too]

c'mon you like researching stuff, don't you
you're the biggest nerd between us

hey what's the first thing you guys are gonna do when we get back to the main ship?

[coherer]

Atta boy
Okay Cain quick while he's gone let's talk about sports

Actually before that Ill tell you that I'm gonna take a 4 hour shower and sleep in a bed for 80 years
Then I'm going to eat everything I want
Then I'm probably gonna text you guys bc I'm gonna be bored again

hbu guys??

[fessus]

Wow how original, Noctis isn't into sports bc he's super talented re: video games and spent all the rest of his free time doing combat training, wow what a loser

You guys can't even fish

I'm getting one of the robots to cut my hair first thing

[blyat]

fishing isn't a sport

[said so confidently]

ugh yeah i should probably dye my hair, it's getting faded from all the sun
hope the robots have the right color

how long until jonas actually texts us
like 5 mins after he's gone around the corner, right

[coherer]

Fishing is actually a sport
It's just not recognized as like
THE sport ykwim

( said so confidently )

I can't believe you're gonna actually try to make fun of me when the first thing both of you are doing is getting your hair done
Noctis knows better right Noct
I said fishing is a sport
Nosha I said fishing is a sport🥺🥺🥺
Noshaaaaaaaaaaa🥺

[fessus]

Fishing's bigger than just a sport, you're not facing off with an animal in other sports

If we're teaming up J then turn off the friendly fire. I want my hair trimmed bc it's in my face, he's the one actually being vain

[ ... ]

Did they really provide you with hair dye where you were stationed?

[blyat]

says who
fishing isn't like hunting so i call bullshit

nah
it was basically contraband

[is he fucking with them, or...]

you guys just want cool hair too, don't be jealous

1/3

[coherer]

It is/would be super hot on you guys but hair dye would truly look awful on me
Especially blue oh my god
Do not try to convince me otherwise
I need a haircut too I've got a horrific flow happening rn the shower just wins out

2/3

[coherer]

( ...

wait )

3/4 i lied

[coherer]

( HURRIEDLY: )

Sorry lol it'd be super cool I mean
Got my temperatures mixed up haha😛

4/4

[coherer]

Anyway spear fishing is literally hunting so like fishing fishing is definitely a form of hunting
Or like
Luring

Okay did yk that you have to catch catfish (they're big fat fish with whiskers idk what to say here) by shoving your arm into their mouths??

( a fucking smooth as SILK save )

[fessus]

[ "It is/would be super hot on you guys"

Cain and Jonas complimenting each other with that level of openness isn't something he hasn't seen yet. Hell, Cain was the one just demanding that he be called "sexy" as his new nickname. But seeing it now makes him feel... well... shouldn't he be more focused on the fact that for one horrifying split second he considered the pros and cons of dyeing his own hair?

Is that what Jonas is into? He's leaving the message unresponded to for a telling amount of time, he realizes. Maybe he should find an excuse to head back out to the oasis for some more fishing... ]

My friend dyed part of his hair once, no way I'm doing that. It fits Cain but as the guy with the best hair of the three of us?? I'm not taking chances

I caught a fish so big once it took me + my friends to get it out of the water, even my arm in its mouth wouldn't have been enough

[ YES GREAT SWERVE ]

[blyat]

[The initial slip of language doesn't even get Cain's attention until Jonas is course-correcting like a car going the wrong way into traffic. Noctis isn't much better, though he's at least left the conversation in such a way that it would only be more awkward to address it now.

Hm... much to overthink when he can't sleep at 3am tonight...]

"best hair" yeah right
let jonas be the judge of that
who's got the best hair, j?

anyway i still don't believe fishing is a sport