It would be for the best. Normally I wouldn't want anyone else prying into our affairs but for this I'll make an exception; it's not worth risking my becoming a threat.
The chains are my choice and are simply a precaution. If it makes you uncomfortable I can ask someone else, but I think you and I should handle this together. [ As much as he'd prefer to hide this particular struggle from Jonas... that isn't who he wants to be with him, and not who they both need to be going forward. ]
I didn't even think. If you change your mind just lmk okay? We might decide it's cool for us to handle alone after all this blows over, but I'm gonna do some studying on my own on it too.
ik feeling dependent on me might not be super great for you. I'm more of the dependent one. LMFAOOOOO
(he realizes after the fact that that might sound self-critical, but he trudges on regardless. it isn't to him; he is most certainly dependent. things are improving for him in those areas, and he might have sasuke to thank for that.)
Anyway. Chains it is, though, man. I got your back. I'll try anything, so if that's what you think's gonna work I'm totally game. I'll do up some backup runes just in case? Maybe we can lock the end links to the floor and loop em around you for good measure.
Some advice tho: maybe don't tell anyone? bc someone's gonna make bad jokes. ik the ppl here and they just have nooooooo social awareness.
Jonas, my mind won't change about the Bond itself. It may just be that we need to drain your magic another way when it's particularly strong, or you or I might be required to take on extra Bond. One way or another, it'll be solved. I'm counting on you to do your part with the research.
[ In a way, it's all the response he needs to give to Jonas's feelings on his dependence. Does he want to rely on anyone else? No. Has he spent years learning that he can and that it's sometimes wiser to? Yes. ]
This is between you and me. Jokes won't have a place.
I don't think I should get into what kinda jokes I mean.....
(sailing directly over the bdsm topic and onto the next.)
Anyway, I won't let you down. Count on hearing from me about it ASAP, since it's gonna be the first thing I'm gonna look into when I get back to class in the next few days. This is no way should put like unexpected stress on you.
When should I head over there? Do you need me at any certain time, or do your changes start happening earlier or later than maybe others' might?
I really liked that salad you made with the tofu and stuff in it. And the zucchini thing.
As for the bond, not anything that's gonna surprise you. I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping, but we knew that was gonna happen and it did before you and Stiles dialled in. Other times I feel like getting outta bed to do the simplest tasks is the absolute worst decision I could possibly make, that's new for me and was kinda alarming till I got used to it, but once I convince myself to get up it's fine.
It helps that you guys are getting ready to call it a day when I'm getting ready for class. On Stiles' end it's like I very nervously licked a battery and I'm having trouble focusing on my work. I think I'm smoking more, but I've ALSO taken to healing myself weekly even if I don't know if that's actually doing anything LOL
Is it tiredness that makes it difficult to get up?
[ He doesn't clarify what else he believes it could be, or if he thinks those feelings could come from him or Stiles. All he hopes is to read a "yes". ]
I want to know if you're adjusting anything about your life as a result of the Bond as well. That, and if you're feeling any pain. [ He locks his jaw as he rereads that question, trying to ascertain the answer in its entirety. ]
It's an adjustment. You feel strong emotions even over little things. I wouldn't say it's a bad thing.
No, it's more like sadness. Makes me think of stuff from back home a lot, but I really should be. I can't stay here and forget about everything that happened, so I don't mind it. The weight's just hard to shake off.
(and the pain... jonas didn't want to discuss it, but he owes sasuke his full honesty. they agreed to bond with that promise in mind. that they'd be truthful as often as they could and take care of one another.
this is a part of that, even if isn't... necessarily good.)
The pains only happen when I focus on it too much, so when I find other things to distract me from how you're feeling then it usually levels out pretty quick. Luckily, I'm not exactly the "worried genius" type, so that's easy to do. And one of my professors told me it'll go away after your changes stop.
(an easier way to say "after you die.")
It's hard to describe it, but you'd probably understand with your arm? Phantom aches?
(a pause between predictably long-winded messages, sending another when he thinks about what he'd like to ask him, too. are there any changes he can make to alleviate these feelings for both of them?)
Is my feeling a ton too much or anything? Or does my being active during the day wake you up? Things like that?
It takes a powerful amount of self-control to keep from dwelling on that statement, lifting his gaze away from that watch even to focus on the wood grain of his doorframe. Each furrow has an emotion dedicated to it, separating them one at a time and filing them into cracks along which they can travel away from him. It's naΓ―ve in perhaps every way to imagine he can take the feelings Jonas engenders in him and lay them to rest β however briefly β in the bones of this house, but how fitting it would be to imagine he could actually leave him here when he goes back.
If he goes back.
An idea he'd limit the rest of his life for if need be, and it's still only a possibility. Why is this realization striking him so suddenly now? Isn't there a better way to cope with his guilt than to give way to something so much deeper? ]
Yes, I understand. I've shared someone's senses before while still maintaining awareness of my own. Pain is just one more sense.
I don't usually sleep too long at one time, so being woken up by your activity doesn't bother me. [ A definite "yes". ] But what I really meant to ask is if you're trying to feel less so it isn't transmitted to me.
(a confusing mix of feeling slides over him, the impression that's something amiss. what?
jonas knew sasuke had an impressive willpower, but his ability to keep himself from strong emotion is shocking. the absence of it makes him suspect something's there, only enigmatic enough to keep him quiet.)
ugh, that sucks. The bonds are really give and take, huh. It's been a really crazy experience. No regrets so far, but the adjustment period's pretty long. Even if it's like I've always had you in my head now, strange shit strikes sometimes and it reminds me we're still getting to know each other. That's the nice part, I think.
No, though, I don't try to feel less. I don't know how I'd go about doing that lol, so what you're getting is unfiltered Jonas Ward. Does it seem like I am? Muting myself, I mean?
I suppose it makes sense. Even with someone like Naruto there are things I don't yet know. Stiles still says something new to me almost daily to start another banal argument. I doubt we'll ever fully be able to predict one another, just as we can't predict ourselves. Particularly given our access to emotions people aren't meant to feel.
It doesn't mean I'm questioning you because I think you're actively trying to hide things. More that we might make decisions that cause us to avoid situations in which we could feel more.
I can admit to controlling my own emotions where I can. It's how things are for me.
Hahaha, yeah. That's so like you guys. tbh I don't even know how I'm feeling most of the time, sometimes it's like I'm on auto-pilot, but I'm usually pretty mellow unless I'm with people I don't really know or outta my comfort zone in general.
Things just happen as they happen. Guess I'm not a "master of my own fate" or whatever, even though I should get on that. Tired of getting pushed around everywhere.
But I get it. You and Itachi have had difficult lives, that just seems like a way to combat it or smth? I'm no expert obviously. Know that I understand and you can take your time letting things out/in.
Being able to retain your sense of calm isn't a flaw, that's a positive. You're right to identify apathy as a potential problem, but it sounds as if you're determined to see that change. Focus on my feelings long enough and it'll come naturally.
[ Was that a little teasing arrogance? Maybe. You can be reserved and forceful, Jonas. ]
An example might be avoiding talking about my family too much or purposefully looking away from things that make you think of home.
I know better than most how true that is LMAO, but being influenced by your feelings would be the easiest part of my day. I'm js.
(two can play at that game.)
And those are things you don't want me to resist doing bc of the bond? bc I like hearing about you and I like to think about my own family. So I don't know how I'd really go about stopping that anyway.
If it really really bothers you I'd like to know, though.
Really?? Huh, I never would've thought. idk why, I have no excuse for the surprise.
Why wouldn't I, tho?
(it confuses him more than it bothers him. in fact, it doesn't occur to him it might be a criticism at all.)
If I look unimpressive, I'll come off as unimpressive. It's like that where I'm from, anyway. People judge a lot on just looks, so ig it's deeply ingrained. Weird to actually think about it tho.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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The chains are my choice and are simply a precaution. If it makes you uncomfortable I can ask someone else, but I think you and I should handle this together. [ As much as he'd prefer to hide this particular struggle from Jonas... that isn't who he wants to be with him, and not who they both need to be going forward. ]
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ik feeling dependent on me might not be super great for you. I'm more of the dependent one. LMFAOOOOO
(he realizes after the fact that that might sound self-critical, but he trudges on regardless. it isn't to him; he is most certainly dependent. things are improving for him in those areas, and he might have sasuke to thank for that.)
Anyway. Chains it is, though, man. I got your back. I'll try anything, so if that's what you think's gonna work I'm totally game. I'll do up some backup runes just in case? Maybe we can lock the end links to the floor and loop em around you for good measure.
Some advice tho: maybe don't tell anyone? bc someone's gonna make bad jokes. ik the ppl here and they just have nooooooo social awareness.
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[ In a way, it's all the response he needs to give to Jonas's feelings on his dependence. Does he want to rely on anyone else? No. Has he spent years learning that he can and that it's sometimes wiser to? Yes. ]
This is between you and me. Jokes won't have a place.
[ ... ]
What jokes do you mean?
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(sailing directly over the bdsm topic and onto the next.)
Anyway, I won't let you down. Count on hearing from me about it ASAP, since it's gonna be the first thing I'm gonna look into when I get back to class in the next few days. This is no way should put like unexpected stress on you.
When should I head over there? Do you need me at any certain time, or do your changes start happening earlier or later than maybe others' might?
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[ It's always sexual when someone trails off like that. Why. Stiles did this too. ]
I've already bought food. Come over for dinner and I'll ensure that I eat extra this time. That should be early enough.
There's something else I wanted to discuss also.
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I'm down for that, I'll get some things together tomorrow that I think might help and head over after that.
What's up?
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I wanted to talk to you about the Bond itself. How you're feeling, if you have any concerns.
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As for the bond, not anything that's gonna surprise you. I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping, but we knew that was gonna happen and it did before you and Stiles dialled in. Other times I feel like getting outta bed to do the simplest tasks is the absolute worst decision I could possibly make, that's new for me and was kinda alarming till I got used to it, but once I convince myself to get up it's fine.
It helps that you guys are getting ready to call it a day when I'm getting ready for class. On Stiles' end it's like I very nervously licked a battery and I'm having trouble focusing on my work. I think I'm smoking more, but I've ALSO taken to healing myself weekly even if I don't know if that's actually doing anything LOL
What about you? Are you doing okay?
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[ He doesn't clarify what else he believes it could be, or if he thinks those feelings could come from him or Stiles. All he hopes is to read a "yes". ]
I want to know if you're adjusting anything about your life as a result of the Bond as well. That, and if you're feeling any pain. [ He locks his jaw as he rereads that question, trying to ascertain the answer in its entirety. ]
It's an adjustment. You feel strong emotions even over little things. I wouldn't say it's a bad thing.
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(and the pain... jonas didn't want to discuss it, but he owes sasuke his full honesty. they agreed to bond with that promise in mind. that they'd be truthful as often as they could and take care of one another.
this is a part of that, even if isn't... necessarily good.)
The pains only happen when I focus on it too much, so when I find other things to distract me from how you're feeling then it usually levels out pretty quick. Luckily, I'm not exactly the "worried genius" type, so that's easy to do. And one of my professors told me it'll go away after your changes stop.
(an easier way to say "after you die.")
It's hard to describe it, but you'd probably understand with your arm? Phantom aches?
(a pause between predictably long-winded messages, sending another when he thinks about what he'd like to ask him, too. are there any changes he can make to alleviate these feelings for both of them?)
Is my feeling a ton too much or anything? Or does my being active during the day wake you up? Things like that?
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It takes a powerful amount of self-control to keep from dwelling on that statement, lifting his gaze away from that watch even to focus on the wood grain of his doorframe. Each furrow has an emotion dedicated to it, separating them one at a time and filing them into cracks along which they can travel away from him. It's naΓ―ve in perhaps every way to imagine he can take the feelings Jonas engenders in him and lay them to rest β however briefly β in the bones of this house, but how fitting it would be to imagine he could actually leave him here when he goes back.
If he goes back.
An idea he'd limit the rest of his life for if need be, and it's still only a possibility. Why is this realization striking him so suddenly now? Isn't there a better way to cope with his guilt than to give way to something so much deeper? ]
Yes, I understand. I've shared someone's senses before while still maintaining awareness of my own. Pain is just one more sense.
I don't usually sleep too long at one time, so being woken up by your activity doesn't bother me. [ A definite "yes". ] But what I really meant to ask is if you're trying to feel less so it isn't transmitted to me.
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jonas knew sasuke had an impressive willpower, but his ability to keep himself from strong emotion is shocking. the absence of it makes him suspect something's there, only enigmatic enough to keep him quiet.)
ugh, that sucks. The bonds are really give and take, huh. It's been a really crazy experience. No regrets so far, but the adjustment period's pretty long. Even if it's like I've always had you in my head now, strange shit strikes sometimes and it reminds me we're still getting to know each other. That's the nice part, I think.
No, though, I don't try to feel less. I don't know how I'd go about doing that lol, so what you're getting is unfiltered Jonas Ward. Does it seem like I am? Muting myself, I mean?
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It doesn't mean I'm questioning you because I think you're actively trying to hide things. More that we might make decisions that cause us to avoid situations in which we could feel more.
I can admit to controlling my own emotions where I can. It's how things are for me.
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Things just happen as they happen. Guess I'm not a "master of my own fate" or whatever, even though I should get on that. Tired of getting pushed around everywhere.
But I get it. You and Itachi have had difficult lives, that just seems like a way to combat it or smth? I'm no expert obviously. Know that I understand and you can take your time letting things out/in.
What situations do you mean, though?
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[ Was that a little teasing arrogance? Maybe. You can be reserved and forceful, Jonas. ]
An example might be avoiding talking about my family too much or purposefully looking away from things that make you think of home.
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(two can play at that game.)
And those are things you don't want me to resist doing bc of the bond? bc I like hearing about you and I like to think about my own family. So I don't know how I'd really go about stopping that anyway.
If it really really bothers you I'd like to know, though.
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[ Look, self-deprecating Gen Z humor is suiting him fine. ]
I don't want you to hold back at all if you don't wish to. That's all that it means. If you aren't restricting yourself, I'm at ease with it.
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LOL nice
I'm definitely not, so rest assured. If it does come up just lmk and I'll figure out a way for us both to get what we want. Cool?
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Very well. In that case there's nothing else that I needed to ask.
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Then we have exhausted our list of things to discuss forever and our business is concluded. Blah blah blah
I've got smth we can talk about. Do you think wearing socks with sandals is weird or kinda chill?
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bc it's really comfy. And I'm debating getting some sandals for summer.
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[ Although he is 100% not picturing what Jonas is attempting to describe. ]
You care if people find you unimpressive? Still? [ Okay that sounds harsher than he meant. ]
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Why wouldn't I, tho?
(it confuses him more than it bothers him. in fact, it doesn't occur to him it might be a criticism at all.)
If I look unimpressive, I'll come off as unimpressive. It's like that where I'm from, anyway. People judge a lot on just looks, so ig it's deeply ingrained. Weird to actually think about it tho.
I just wanna look good.
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