𝚊𝚎𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚖, 𝚒𝚗-𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚡.

[coherer]

sadwhore04:

if a demon possessed me i'd just b like ok take it from here good luck man

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[coherer]

(wants to throw an "okay, shelob," or better yet—in keeping with the harry potter vibes—"whatever you say, aragog," but that'd be immature. he promised stiles he wouldn't bring it up and he doesn't intend to. that's up to him. his body, his rules.)

I can't even ride horses. How do you think I'd manage a skeletal one???

as a former horseback rider, i'm offended by my own tag

[mensrea]

[ You're good people, Jonas. ]

I can't either, but how hard can it be? Saddle probably does most of the work for you.

JUST DON'T DWELL, LOOK AWAY

[coherer]

Okay but what if you start slipping to the side, or even backwards? If you fall off you're going to get caught in the pedals and break an ankle. Or your neck.

(PEDALS)

Do you think we'll have to try here?

[mensrea]

Dude. They’re called stirrups. How do you not know that.

[ Pedals. Jesus Christ. ]

Yeah. I think the Coven is going to personally escort you from our future house straight to the nearest barn, set you up on their biggest, meanest pony, and make you try.

NO, I don’t think we’ll have to try. Why would we?

[coherer]

oh how would you know?? You just got here too.

Maybe cylwd stuff will happen or shades will attack and our only way out is on horseback? Think about it dude.

(he'll never spell cwyld right. if he does, it's not jonas. it's a murderer pretending to be jonas.)

[mensrea]

Alright, let's think about it. Shades attack and the only way out is on horseback. How many people are housed in this district? In the entire city? Are ALL of us on horses? Do we each get our own horse to ride, or are we doubling up? Where do we ride the horses? If we go outside the city, aren't we in more danger? But if we stay inside the city, will there be enough room for the thousands of horses that definitely don't even exist in number? What if Jonas gets his foot stuck in the pedal? What if Jonas gets his foot stuck in ALL the pedals? Can I collect on roommate life insurance if he's trampled underneath this paragraph of pointless abstraction?

[coherer]

tl;dr

[mensrea]

tl;dr we'll sign you up for horseback riding lessons next week, okay champ?

[coherer]

Double dog dare me

[mensrea]

I triple dog dare you.

[coherer]

That's not how dog daring works, unless you want to get another person for this.

Just saying.

[mensrea]

It absolutely is, dude. Haven't you ever seen A Christmas Story? Kids these days...

[ This, coming from the one who's technically younger. ]

1/2

[coherer]

What the hell is A Christmas Story...

A double dog dare is when you dare the person who dared you to do it too.

2/2

[coherer]

Isn't it?

[mensrea]

Okay, I can't even handle that first question right now. Let me process your sad cultural ignorance and get back to you about it later.

Not the way we used to use it. Double and triple were just escalations. Someone chickening out on a double dare? Triple dog dare them. Highest tier.

[coherer]

Oh, yay. I can't wait.

(taste the sarcasm, stiles. taste it.)

There's no penalty for saying no, though. For any of the tiers. tbh maybe the kids in my town were just out to get each other, bc everything was a challenge.

[mensrea]

Small town?

[ It sounds like the mentality of small-town kids, at least. ]

[coherer]

Yeah, Westedge. Just outside of North Valley, OR.

So basically just farms and crime. Weird mix, trust me.

[mensrea]

Oh cool, you're West Coast like me then! Beacon Hills, CA.

Wait, so you lived in a small town that's basically just farms and you don't know how to ride a horse?

[coherer]

West coast, best coast. Idk why it's super freaky to run into other earthlings here, but boy am I glad for it.

ps I can't just run onto someone's farm and ask to ride their horses. That would be so... so weird and actual businesses that charge are way too expensive. Also, take into account my lack of desire to even go near a horse.

How do you like Cali

[mensrea]

Do you have a legit horse phobia? Did horse clowns scare you as a little kid or something?

idk honestly? Beacon Hills probably isn’t anything like how most people would imagine California. We’re not on the coast, which sucks. Probably a double-edged sword though. Less tourism and crack.

[coherer]

Yes, Stiles, I have a horse clown phobia. How DO they juggle with those hooves? It's downright satanic.

Moving close to the water wasn't as amazing as everyone made it sound tbh, but I get wanting to get away from the centre of things. It definitely feels freer.

[mensrea]

Called it. Personally, I’m just impressed you know they’re called “hooves” and not “paws” or “feet.”

[ Never going to live down “pedals,” Jonas. ]

Moving? You’ve lived elsewhere?

[ Having lived in the same county his whole life, this is actually interesting to Stiles. ]

[coherer]

Yeah from Westedge to Camena, they're both in Oregon though. I wouldn't even say I've lived in Camena, I was only there for two seconds to drop my shit off.

I've visited a ton of states, but I've always ever been trapped in one lol. Have you always been in Beacon Hills or?

[mensrea]

God I just tried to google those places on my phone. I hate this city.

Yeah, always been in Beacon Hills. My dad is the Sheriff. We don’t travel much.

[ And he’s never wanted to, with his whole family in Beacon Hills: his father and Scott. ]