𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚖, 𝚒𝚗-𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚡.

[coherer]

JONAS WARD
"That's between you and your priest."

TEXT. AUDIO. VIDEO. ACTION.

Comments

[fessus]

You want to box? Okay cool

Well you need to level up before you can face the master. Which means you have to box Cain first

[ Is he a cat? Or is he actually a peacock? We just don't know. ]

Nice try getting me to be a degenerate like you guys tho. Maybe I'll steal some off you two sometimes if it feels right but I'm not making it a habit or Ignis will kill me

[blyat]

you can't take my hits to the face and still say you're better than me

[BARK BARK I'M COMPETITIVE AND EASILY RILED]

what ignis doesn't know won't kill him
but fine
just bum off of us then

when are we boxing, j
i'll train you good

[coherer]

Ladies LADIES you're both pretty
You can take turns kicking the crap out of me which is what I imagine is gonna happen
RIP to my physical comfort

Actually it's not like we had any here in the desert anyway
I think I need to put on some weight though I feel like I've sweated off 50 lbs
😭
I wasn't built for this kind of climate I'm so pumped to get back to the Theorem or my ship or smth
I hate roughing it ughhhhhhhhhh

[fessus]

Yeah right you hitting me would hurt your fist worse than my face, bring it on, I'll box you first

[ But yes we are pretty, ty for noticing. ]

Want me to start sneaking more food for you? I've got some Cup Noodle too I could throw your way tbh

1/2

[blyat]

i miss angelika
so... fucking... much
better than a tent in the sand any day

2/2

[blyat]

what the hell is cup noodle

[coherer]

omg can you brag any harder loser
fr I'm gonna ask you to prove it by wrestling a sand whale soon
But yeah probably tbh
I'm a lover not a fighter

I miss Angelika too though
And Chilligan (my ship's name now)

Next time we get back to the ships you gotta eat Noctis' cup noodle
It's this instant noodle soup thing that weirdly exists on Earth and on Eos

[fessus]

Fine you're on

[ I'll wrestle anything, bitch. ]

Is Chilligan like a pun or smth? Also you owe me if you're just giving out my CN on my behalf, like it's a limited supply yk

I'll make Cain one out here just bc he's hungry but that's a special case

[blyat]

don't actually do that, idiot
leave the whales alone

chilligan and angelika make a good match

thanks
never heard of it, so it must've been a weird earth thing that didn't make it to space
weird that eos would have it too
most of what i ate came out of a machine

[coherer]

I want them to kiss but it's forbidden bc it'd require them to like crash into each other

It's like chill + Gilligan though who's some TV guy my dad used to talk about
He was a first mate, so like not the captain but not nobody either
Total buffoon though so it's super accurate all around

( his dad is a giant nerd clearly )

What was your favourite machine food Cain
Noct do you like spicy things

[fessus]

If they tried their shields would make them bump off each other, Cain and I learned that day 1

And a better question is "what's your least favorite machine food Cain?"

Spicy's fine but I always got told too much would you sick, idk if it's true. My other friend's really into it tho. I'm guessing neither of you can handle it at all, tell me I'm wrong

[blyat]

we are NOT crashing OR bumping them together

but yeah, that name sounds 👌
i didn't put that much thought into angelika's, it's just a good name
like you know she's hot even if you haven't met her

[someone tell cain he can't fuck his ship]

why do you think i can't handle spicy food, 'course i can
i had "borscht" from the machine and it was pretty good
anything with potatoes is solid
vegetables on their own just kinda turn into a mushy paste

[coherer]

Wow is that why you guys were fighting hahahaha
It all makes sense now

I weirdly pick up what you're putting down though
Like when girls have THOSE names
Like Tiffany or something

( get these two fucking dudebros away from each other )

I'm a typical white guy, I can't handle spicy
I like medium spice level at most like spicy salsa on my Mexican food (Mexico is an Earth country)
Borscht is such a Russian food though
Even ik about borscht

What's the spiciest thing you guys ever ate??

1/3

[fessus]

W/e it was an accident and I apologized

[ doesn't even try to deny that this was his fault... but does he really have to when they move on to something else ]

2/3

[fessus]

[ ]

Tiffany??

3/3

[fessus]

Forget it

Yk how bad you guys are at explaining things? What's borscht? What's Mexican food like? Is a white guy slang for someone from Oregon?

Wow Random Food X is so stereotypically Altissian, I like spicy salsa on my Cleigne food

See how that told you nothing

[blyat]

someone's getting feisty again
you seeing this, j

[it's cute as hell...]

[coherer]

Oh I'm seeing it alright
Mexican food is spicy Nosha
Duh😛

I'd actually need a whole day to explain how I'm white to you so maybe some other time when we're all extremely bored

yk there's an archive right
Google it
While you're there Google googling smth so I don't have to explain that too

1/2

[fessus]

[ I HATE BOTH OF YOU ]

2/2

[fessus]

Sure let me interrupt every convo to go look stuff up

Brb researching 😒😒😒

[blyat]

yeah look up "white guy"
it'll just be a pic of j's face

[look he can be in on the joke too]

c'mon you like researching stuff, don't you
you're the biggest nerd between us

hey what's the first thing you guys are gonna do when we get back to the main ship?

[coherer]

Atta boy
Okay Cain quick while he's gone let's talk about sports

Actually before that Ill tell you that I'm gonna take a 4 hour shower and sleep in a bed for 80 years
Then I'm going to eat everything I want
Then I'm probably gonna text you guys bc I'm gonna be bored again

hbu guys??

[fessus]

Wow how original, Noctis isn't into sports bc he's super talented re: video games and spent all the rest of his free time doing combat training, wow what a loser

You guys can't even fish

I'm getting one of the robots to cut my hair first thing

[blyat]

fishing isn't a sport

[said so confidently]

ugh yeah i should probably dye my hair, it's getting faded from all the sun
hope the robots have the right color

how long until jonas actually texts us
like 5 mins after he's gone around the corner, right

[coherer]

Fishing is actually a sport
It's just not recognized as like
THE sport ykwim

( said so confidently )

I can't believe you're gonna actually try to make fun of me when the first thing both of you are doing is getting your hair done
Noctis knows better right Noct
I said fishing is a sport
Nosha I said fishing is a sport🥺🥺🥺
Noshaaaaaaaaaaa🥺