𝚊𝚎𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚖, 𝚒𝚗-𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚡.

[coherer]

sadwhore04:

if a demon possessed me i'd just b like ok take it from here good luck man

CODE BY

Comments

[mensrea]

Cool.

I don't think there's anything official about it. I asked one of the witches and he told me there's no rent. So, want to pick a place to stay? I mean, I guess you could say that

it's free real estate.

[coherer]

You can't hear me, but I'm laughing. Like super hard rn.

(narrator: he wasn't.)

I can't believe we can just walk right up and call dibs on a whole house. Am I going to find out a bunch of people were murdered in them and that's why they're freebies?

[mensrea]

[ You started it!! ]

I call the room without bloodstains in it.

If we find tombstones in the backyard, we should destroy them. That's what you do in The Sims to keep the ghosts from haunting a zone.

[coherer]

(actually snorts a laugh, reaching up to press fingers in against the bridge of his nose. fucking sims.)

Shut up omg lmao

Have you watched a single horror movie? If you desecrate the graves, your ass is guaranteed a haunting. No destroying. Promise.

[mensrea]

I promise.

[ Not. He will, without hesitation, desecrate a grave if, for whatever reason, it becomes necessary. ]

Maybe that’s how we’ll christen the house, though. Think they’ve got Paranormal Activity or The Blair Witch Project in this place?

[coherer]

I'm gonna say no? Given that the most adv thing I've seen is a smartwatch.

But look, we'll go to the library and pick out some scary kid's stories for you.

[mensrea]

KID'S stories? I mention Paranormal Activity and The Blair Witch Project and that's what you lump me in with? The kid's section!? Listen, Harry Potter, your namesake was young adult literature. So you better climb off your high horse.

High Thestral. Maybe? Is that even spelled right? I don't remember.

[coherer]

(wants to throw an "okay, shelob," or better yet—in keeping with the harry potter vibes—"whatever you say, aragog," but that'd be immature. he promised stiles he wouldn't bring it up and he doesn't intend to. that's up to him. his body, his rules.)

I can't even ride horses. How do you think I'd manage a skeletal one???

as a former horseback rider, i'm offended by my own tag

[mensrea]

[ You're good people, Jonas. ]

I can't either, but how hard can it be? Saddle probably does most of the work for you.

JUST DON'T DWELL, LOOK AWAY

[coherer]

Okay but what if you start slipping to the side, or even backwards? If you fall off you're going to get caught in the pedals and break an ankle. Or your neck.

(PEDALS)

Do you think we'll have to try here?

[mensrea]

Dude. They’re called stirrups. How do you not know that.

[ Pedals. Jesus Christ. ]

Yeah. I think the Coven is going to personally escort you from our future house straight to the nearest barn, set you up on their biggest, meanest pony, and make you try.

NO, I don’t think we’ll have to try. Why would we?

[coherer]

oh how would you know?? You just got here too.

Maybe cylwd stuff will happen or shades will attack and our only way out is on horseback? Think about it dude.

(he'll never spell cwyld right. if he does, it's not jonas. it's a murderer pretending to be jonas.)

[mensrea]

Alright, let's think about it. Shades attack and the only way out is on horseback. How many people are housed in this district? In the entire city? Are ALL of us on horses? Do we each get our own horse to ride, or are we doubling up? Where do we ride the horses? If we go outside the city, aren't we in more danger? But if we stay inside the city, will there be enough room for the thousands of horses that definitely don't even exist in number? What if Jonas gets his foot stuck in the pedal? What if Jonas gets his foot stuck in ALL the pedals? Can I collect on roommate life insurance if he's trampled underneath this paragraph of pointless abstraction?

[coherer]

tl;dr

[mensrea]

tl;dr we'll sign you up for horseback riding lessons next week, okay champ?

[coherer]

Double dog dare me

[mensrea]

I triple dog dare you.

[coherer]

That's not how dog daring works, unless you want to get another person for this.

Just saying.

[mensrea]

It absolutely is, dude. Haven't you ever seen A Christmas Story? Kids these days...

[ This, coming from the one who's technically younger. ]

1/2

[coherer]

What the hell is A Christmas Story...

A double dog dare is when you dare the person who dared you to do it too.

2/2

[coherer]

Isn't it?

[mensrea]

Okay, I can't even handle that first question right now. Let me process your sad cultural ignorance and get back to you about it later.

Not the way we used to use it. Double and triple were just escalations. Someone chickening out on a double dare? Triple dog dare them. Highest tier.

[coherer]

Oh, yay. I can't wait.

(taste the sarcasm, stiles. taste it.)

There's no penalty for saying no, though. For any of the tiers. tbh maybe the kids in my town were just out to get each other, bc everything was a challenge.

[mensrea]

Small town?

[ It sounds like the mentality of small-town kids, at least. ]

[coherer]

Yeah, Westedge. Just outside of North Valley, OR.

So basically just farms and crime. Weird mix, trust me.